Sunday, January 16, 2011

gratitude.......

so, my cousin Tani wrote a blog post that really inspired me to become a better blogger. When I say a better blogger, I don't mean blog MORE, I mean blog about more important things! Usually, when I post, I just write about daily happenings, or projects I have completed, etc. In her blog, Tani wrote about the possibility of touching or uplifting someone by the words people say on their blog. WOW! Then, this afternoon, Meghan and I were looking at blogs, and ran across a non-Mormon, atheist woman who loves to read Mormon mom blogs because they uplift her. Another WOW! So, I don't really know if this post really uplift anyone, or really if anyone is going to be reading this post...but here it is! I hope that someone out there will be inspired to be more grateful! Warning: this is kind of personal, so please don't judge me or tease me! I love you all!
For those of you who don't know, Daniel and I have been battling (I say battling because really some days it feels like a battle!) with infertility since we have been married, but more intensely for about the last year. We always knew that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant, the thought never occured to me that it may not even happen! Last March we were told that it would be a very slim to zero chance that I would get pregnant. As soon as we got that news, we went into LDS Family services and signed up to be on the adoption list. For 6 months, we filled out paper work, went to a bunch of interviews, did more paper work, had a home inspection (which we passed!) did more paperwork, and then finally we got our adoption profile online! YAY! During this time, we were so immersed in all that stuff, that we really didn't have anytime to think about our infertility. It seems like over the last 3 months, so many people I know are expecting....which is very exciting and I am happy I am going to get to be around so many babies! At the same time, it really makes me crave a baby. I will admit, I have been a tad "down" lately, which is a little out of character. Dan finally got sick of me complaining all the time about not having a baby....so he encouraged me to commit to a gratitude journal. Which finally ties in the post title:) every time I blog, I am going to make a list of things that I am grateful for that day. The days I don;t blog, I am going to write it in my journal. Here goes the first day:
1. I am grateful for a HUSBAND who knows me (the good, the bad and the ugly:) He completes me and makes me a better person everyday! He puts up with crazy mood swings and lifts me up when I am having a "down" day!
2. I am thankful for FAMILY! I am thankful that every Sunday we get together to renew friendship!
3. I am grateful for FRIENDS who I can call at a moments notice just to listen and laugh with me!
4. I am thankful for the GOSPEL in my life. I am thankful for an older brother who heals my heart. I am thankful for the pure joy the gospel brings everyday to my life!
5. I am thankful for a HOME... a warm and cozy and beautiful home that I love!
6. I am thankful for a JOB for without it, I would be crazy and likely put into a mental institution. Even though I say that it makes me crazy, I know I would be crazy without it!
7. I am thankful for SUNDAYS!
8. I guess that today I am also thankful for BLOGGING:)
I also want to say that I know there are people out there who have waited longer than us to get a baby....I appreciate you so much...
I also want to say that this blog was not meant to make you guys feel sorry for us!
Thanks for all the support you have given Dan and I throughout this process!
Love,
Emily

6 comments:

  1. Emily! I love the idea of a gratitude journal! I for sure could blog about more important things. :) You know I'm always here if you need to talk! :)

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  2. A couple of weeks back I taught a lesson on gratitude to my Beehives. One of the quotes in the manual from Pres Benson said that ingratitude would be one of the greatest sins for which we would be guilty. It made me stop and think how guilty I was in that area. You've got a good list. I should probably go make one myself :) Thanks for sharing.

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  3. What a great idea, Em. It's often so hard to focus on the good in the midst of a hard trial, but it really does help so much. We have some friends here who have also been waiting for a baby to come through adoption for a couple of years now. I can see how easy it would be to get discourged. Hang in there!

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  4. I love this post Emily! It definitely inspires me! You have such a great attitude!
    I think that problems are equal to solutions. In other words, it is important to acnowledge the hard things in life in our conversations with others- not so that they feel sorry for us, but so that they can see the significance of the solution, and be inspired themselves. Sometimes when you are going through a hard time it feels impossible to see how much stronger you are becoming. Your battles will teach you how to inspire others, if you have a open mind about them and don't let those battles crush you! I love you girl!!

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  5. I am thankful for you. You have been a very inspiring person since you were a kid. You would teach me every week in YW. You are such a good example to many. Love you!! You deserve so much good and you do have so much of it already. You are blessed and it will happen. You will be a great mommy.

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  6. I have been where you are and I want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I think the waiting is the hardest part and there is no good way to deal with it. The Lords time is not our time which can be very frustrating. Don't loose faith, He has a plan and someday He will fill in the gaps when we ask Him about it. I am always here if you need an ear.

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